Weathering the Storm: My Journey as a Doula, Advocate, and Resilient Soul
As I sit down to share my thoughts, I find myself reflecting on the tumultuous week that has unfolded before me. As a doula, I am no stranger to the emotional rollercoaster that comes with supporting others. However, this week has been different—my personal struggles have been thrust into the spotlight, with people sharing their own thoughts, opinions and ideas about me. Leaving me feeling isolated and misunderstood. In the world of birth work and being a doula, is a multifaceted role that extends beyond the birthing space. It involves empathy, understanding, and advocating for the choices of expectant parents. However, the path to advocacy can be fraught with challenges.
The echoes of this past week, and even the past ten months reverberate in my mind. The lens through which I view my role as a doula has been forever altered by my interactions with Kaitlyn Braun, learning of others who had similar interactions of others who had similar interactions with Kaitlyn, and ultimately, realizing that it was all a scam that caused many individuals to be harmed.. This past week has been a relentless storm of emotions, exacerbated by false accusations, opinions and an unjust legal system.
Let me take you into my world, where my own traumatic experiences have become the driving force behind my current advocacy work. Contrary to accusations, I want to make it clear that I am not monetizing my trauma. Instead, I have and continue to use my experiences to shed light on the importance of support and understanding for those who faced similar experiences and working towards no one else having this experience. My mission is to ensure others don't have to endure what myself, and countless others went through.
On a particularly disheartening note, the day I read my victim impact statement, an agency within the doula community engaged in what I perceive as unethical marketing practices. They insinuated that doulas wouldn’t have been scammed by Kaitlyn Braun if it had been one of their doulas. Their reasoning being that they are certified, belong to their agency, have been vetted, and possess client testimonials. This insensitive move failed to acknowledge that many, if not all, of the victims of Kaitlyn Braun had these very qualifications.
I find the act of self-promotion and the use of my experiences to advance someone else's agenda distasteful and discomforting. It goes against my principles to be weaponized or to permit others to exploit my trauma and personal experiences for their own motives. I stand firm in refusing to be a pawn in someone else's agenda, determined to maintain the integrity of my narrative and not let it be manipulated for purposes contrary to my values. #doulaagenciesforthewin is not the goal here.
Experiencing the deceit, where Kaitlyn faked pregnancies and pregnancy losses, has been deeply unsettling. My decision to address this situation last March on TikTok wasn't about monetizing from the situation, as accused by Kaitlyn Braun's lawyer. Instead, it stemmed from a dire need to protect other doulas. Frustrated by the legal system's failure to protect the doula community from Kaitlyn, I felt compelled to shed light on the issue, demand accountability and stop her from traumatizing and harming others.
As I passionately advocate for transparency and accountability for the doula community, the aftermath of the Kaitlyn Braun doula scam, my advocacy efforts have inadvertently thrust me into a storm of unjust labels and gaslighting. Despite my commitment to supporting diverse birthing choices, my associations with different doulas, organizations/associations, I find myself unfairly labeled with descriptors that couldn't be further from the truth. The toll on my mental and emotional well-being has been overwhelming, as those who truly know me can attest to the stark contrast between these accusations and my character. Despite my efforts to instigate positive change from within, I have faced relentless criticism. My love for this community, which undeniably makes a significant difference in people's lives, is overshadowed by the need to advocate tirelessly.
The doula community, which should ideally provide compassion and support, has become a breeding ground for gaslighting and victim blaming/shaming. Alongside other doulas involved in the Kaitlyn Braun case, we have experienced a lack of solidarity and understanding. Instead of unity, we witnessed divisive behavior, further exacerbating the emotional strain of an already challenging situation.
My core belief is rooted in the idea that every individual has the birthright to make choices aligned with their own wants and needs. Regardless of personal opinions and choices I would make for myself, I am committed to supporting individuals and their choices. The Kaitlyn Braun scam has not deterred my core belief in the right of every individual making choices aligned with their values. Whether it's a medical or holistic approach, a home birth, a hospital setting, or free birth. Whether you are followed by an OB, attended to by a Midwife or choose no medical care, I stand firmly beside individuals as they navigate their unique birthing journeys.
In the face of adversity, I stand firm, unyielding in my commitment to advocate for doulas and birth work. I refuse to be defined by unjust labels and yearn for a deeper understanding within the community I hold so dear. As I continue navigating this storm, my resilience remains unbroken, and my mission to positively impact the lives of expectant parents and foster a doula community that values diverse birthing choices remains unwavering.
I sit with the knowing that I truly want to make a difference as a doula; both supporting families as a doula and also supporting and uplifting other doulas and birth workers. I do not believe that I need to agree with everyone in order to respect them and work alongside each other in this community. Everyone has different beliefs and values. I hope to align with most people but I know that isnt always the case. In these instances though, I turn to compassion and empathy so we can try and cause no harm to each other.